Category — In The News

Teachers have to LOL — or they’d cry (theage.com.au)

This is why I feel sorry for teachers. And for future employers trying to figure out what the hell they’re banging on about.

Listen up you punks, and listen good. If the Internet is to become the centre of the universe, then your online writing HAS to improve. Otherwise, we’ll end up having to use Orwellian style newspeak-esque language just to communicate.

What is wrong with proper usage of the English language? Can someone explain THAT to me?

As an Australian, it would be remiss of me not to mention this, but today was Anzac Day, where we remember the contributions of our fighting men and women since 1915 when the first troops landed in Gallipoli. I’m sure most countries have a day similar to Anzac Day.

In any case, I hope all those who we salute and recognise on this day had an enjoyable day (despite the weather) and I thank and remember all those who died on the fields of battle fighting for the freedoms we enjoy today.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Lest We Forget.

(Ode used courtesy of the Australian War Memorial, image sourced from DiggerHistory.info)

Venezuela axes The Simpsons (from ABC News)

How is it a bad influence on children? How about the dictator of the country - Hugo Chavez? He’s even worse than anything Homer can muster up.

The replacement isn’t much better - Pammy’s big boobs and The Hoff - I wouldn’t be putting children through that!

But then again, what else do you expect in a country where it replaced a popular channel with a government owned station which isn’t as popular as the channel it replaced (RCTV was forced off the air last year, replaced by TVes, although RCTV is now on cable and is still popular).

Restored Pasha welcome back (from ABC News)

Yeah, that big friggin boat is welcome back…just don’t do what you did last time!

Newcastle lockdown sees hotelier cut staff and entertainment (from ABC News)

I’m up here in Scone and even I can tell you it’s a dumb move. You’ll drive away the young from Newcastle and the Hunter and to Sydney and interstate on a level even worse than what it is now.

Hint to all you young Novacastrians - vote the Council out at the local government elections later this year. Trust me on this one.

Go to SaveOurNewcastle.com and register your support for the cause.

TV technician airs porn movie (from NEWS.com.au)

I know it was an accident, but heck, aren’t you thinking, isn’t that a good way of getting the punters back to free-to-air TV?

New Zealand man raped by wombat claims he now speaks Australian (from AdelaideNow)

OK…I have a few questions for the person in question and the Adelaide Advertiser:

1 - How do you get raped by a wombat? Given you’re bigger than the wombat.

2 - Define the “Australian” language. There may be lingo, accent, dialects, etc…but not a unique “Australian” language…

3 - How bored were the people at the Advertiser that they had to report on this?

Nudity-free Playboy to debut in Philippines (from ABC News)

Why bother? What’s a Playboy magazine without the nudes?

Ronalds not at McDonalds (from Muswellbrook Chronicle)

OK - I know the statue of Ronald McDonald in question (It is the nearest McDonalds to Scone). That thing isn’t light.

Who’d want to steal a Macca’s statue?

NZ teen shot dead after being mistaken for deer (from ABC News)

How can you get a teenager confused with a deer? It’s not like they sprout antlers and start attacking others with them now do they? I’ve never heard of a were-deer either…but it is New Zealand. Could be a refugee from the Lord of the Rings shoots…